Trouble With The Curve (NSFW)

(Published on Nerve, 2014)

It took months after our final shouting match for me to even consider taking off another man’s pants. Not that there were many options—most boys I knew still thought of me as “Colin’s girlfriend,” and I avoided meeting new men in favor of raw cookie dough and self-pity. My reasoning for becoming a shut-in was simple: If I didn’t wear mascara, then it couldn’t run.

But when the sexless ennui got to be too much, I invested in a vibrator to keep me entertained. The device was so shiny and sleek it looked like an Apple product, and came with a price tag to match. Pink was the only color the store had left, but the cashier convinced me it was the “Bentley of sex toys,” and I was lucky to have one, even if it was magenta.

When I got home, I was $200 poorer, and still didn’t see why a woman would want to shove a luxury car into her vagina. Then I found out.

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